Christian Agnostics?
Kent Hayden, M.Div (Princeton) on The Case for Christian Agnosticism:
There is no poetry in the accumulation of answers. Poetry, and truth along with it, comes from an encounter with those corners of life which have not yet been filled with language. It comes from entering into our ignorance with the honest courage to question. It comes from a willingness to shake up the mental sediment in which we have hidden our secrets.
On the cross, Jesus was an agnostic. He was willing to face death with a why on his lips. Sometimes, in the comfort of a sunny afternoon, when much less is at stake, I have found the strength to entertain such questions myself. And when my belief is stirred by the gusts of doubt, and my knowledge is silhouetted against the beauty of mystery, I feel the uneasy presence of something beyond my capacity to speak, and I am grateful for all I don’t know.
People are often surprised to learn that Mother Theresa secretly harbored significant doubt. Perhaps it shouldn’t be surprising. The most difficult questions we ask of God are those that arise out of suffering and in the face of evil - precisely the intersection in which Mother Theresa lived and worked and prayed. It was in the face of unimaginable suffering, personal and intimate and real, that Jesus asked, “My God, my God - why have you forsaken me?”
I don’t think we can ever know God in the same way that we can ‘know’ a formula, a definition, a specification or measurement. We can, however, experience God. This is a very different way of ‘knowing’. The first way - the way of measurement and observation - suggests God exists wholly outside of ourselves. The second - the way of personal experience - suggests he exists within us. Jesus’ words in Luke 17 are ambiguous; various translations state that the kingdom of God is ‘within’ and ‘among’ you. ‘Within’ indicates a personal and individual experience of the Kingdom of God while ‘among’ can refer only to an experience shared in community. In either case, Jesus’ reply to the Pharisees is unequivocal: it can’t be identified through a rational process. The Kingdom of God can only be experienced and part of that experience might include doubt, questioning and uncertainty.
Press in to God. Do not give up, do not despair, do not walk away. Press in. P.U.S.H - Pray Until Something Happens. This requires considerable effort. It means clearing the decks of all that is irrelevant, time wasting, distracting to our search. No, you probably can’t quit your job, but you can not watch television for two or three hours a day, you can take time from other activities, you can open time in your schedule. You can pray for three or four hours a day - you just have to figure out how. Get up in God’s grill. Hang on. Do not let go. Holler, bellow and wail, plead, beg and cajole. But press in, and keep pressing in, until you hear from God.
To live in the mystery of God is one thing. To reconcile yourself to the questions that cannot be answered is another, and Dr. Hayden suggests he has found a way of living with both. To live in abject doubt, though, is to aimlessly wander the corridors of a peculiar kind of living hell. Trust me on this, it’s awful. I hate it.
Press in. P.U.S.H. My experience has been that I’ve never received the answer I was looking for. Almost inevitably God bypasses the question altogether. But I have always gotten the answer I needed.
P.U.S.H.
Be Still My Love…
Pentecost is derived from the ancient Greek for ‘fifty’ and the festival of Pentecost got that name because, on the ancient Jewish calendar, it came on the fiftieth day after Passover. In Jewish religious life the festival commemorated Moses receiving the Ten Commandments from God and the establishment of his covenant relationship with his people. It was on the very day of this particular festival that the Holy Spirit fell on the believers in Jerusalem and the whole world was turned upside down. The timing of the Holy Spirit arriving in power on Pentecost is stunning: God was initiating a new covenant with his people.
So… why bring it up now? Well… what I find fascinating about these events is the disciples. After Jesus was crucified they met in secret, afraid for their lives. Now, after having walked and talked with the resurrected Christ on a number of occasions - and having witnessed his ascension - they are no longer afraid. Cautious, perhaps, but yet they appear to be living openly as Christ followers in Jerusalem. They are doing exactly what Jesus asked them to do - they are waiting. It’s taken me many, many years of hearing, reading and thinking about this story before I grasped the significance of the obvious fact - for them, following Jesus meant waiting, waiting until the time was right, waiting for God to move, waiting for the Holy Spirit to come, waiting for whatever - and they certainly could not have known what ‘whatever’ was - came next. They were caught in an eddy in time, no longer a part of the world they once knew yet unable to enter into the world that was to come. So they waited. We know they prayed and ate together, and that they elected Matthias to replace the traitor Judas but, other than those scant few activities, we see no forward motion on the part of the disciples. None, that is, until the Holy Spirit falls and Peter steps boldly in to what God is doing and preaches the gospel on the streets of Jerusalem.
I’m bringing all this up because our community here at Third Space seems to be in much the same position. Something has changed, and is changing, and we’re negotiating a transition once more. Like the disciples in the opening pages of Acts, we can no longer be who we once were, and it’s not yet clear what God has in store for us next. So, like the disciples, we wait. Like the disciples, we pray, we take communion together, we worship the Lord together. And in those prayers we seek out our purpose. We, as a community of believers here, in Peterborough in 2010, are searching for a word from the Lord, asking for the Holy Spirit to fall, looking for the signs of what God is doing so that we can step into the power and the presence of God in our life as a community.
Today was communion here at Third Space. There wasn’t much in the way of a sermon - nothing more than what you’ve read here. But prior to communion set aside a time of silent prayer as we waited on the Lord and listened for his voice. There will soon - very soon be a time for us to move decisively, to speak boldly and to hold the truth like a torch. That time is ’soon’ but not ‘yet’. Right now we must be still and listen. Right now we must wait and pray.
Come, Holy Spirit… come.
The Same Mighty Power…
I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.
This is from Paul’s prayer for the Ephesian church, which I read as a benediction at the close of our Sunday mornings at Third Space. It takes my breath away every time I read it. “This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead…” Sometimes - okay, maybe most times - we miss the significance of what is happening in our community. We faithfully keep coming out, participating, meeting here with God and with our friends and, for the most part, we love it. Oh yes, it has it moments when things are not as we wished - everything in life does - but we’re here. We could be a million other places, but we’re here. After a while this seems perfectly normal - perfectly ordinary. As a result of all this ‘ordinariness’, though, we sometimes miss the fact that something extraordinary is happening.
Do we have any idea what this really means? I think a great deal of what happens in our community appears underwhelming. This morning we sat for a few minutes of silent prayer before beginning our discussion. To a casual observer this might seem odd, or perhaps it seems like nothing is happening. But in our frenzied, stress-filled world the opportunity to sit in silence is a rare and precious thing. If you were with us this morning you may have been uncomfortable with the long, still silence. Of course, the ‘long’ silence was just under four minutes. At the end of that prayer time there was an incredible spirit of peace and stillness in our room. And yes, I know God is always with us, but this morning, as I prepared to break the silence by reading Psalm 100, I could feel God’s presence. I treasure those moments.
We then talked a great deal about what Third Space means to us; about what our experience here has been like. As various people were sharing their thoughts I thought, “this is it - this is what real community looks like”. As the discussion went on I began to hear stories of God at work in people’s hearts, drawing us to himself in the midst of this community. It was so beautiful.
“This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead…” We have no idea what God can do, and can scarcely imagine what he will do in our community this year. We live in the ordinariness of knowing God, not fully realizing the astounding, awesome, mind-boggling power that God possesses. You see, it’s not just the power to speak the universe into existence, to shape reality, to stop time, to walk on water. It’s the power to speak into our hearts, to touch our deepest inner self with his incomparable love. The power to create planets? One day science may do just that. The power to whisper love into the depths of my deepest pain, to calm, with his gentle but powerful presence my greatest fears, the ability to change the very nature of who I am by nothing more than his presence? We have no idea the power that the Holy Spirit possesses, no idea what God can do. Sometimes I don’t know how we’re going to do this or that; sometimes I wonder where Third Space goes from here. In the end, maybe it’s not a lack of faith that makes me think that way. Maybe it’s taking this beautiful thing - God in the midst of our Third Space community - for granted.
I want to make you a promise, Third Space: I’m going to dream big dreams from now on. Go ahead, dream big dreams, too. Bring your dreams, bring your hopes, bring your talents and your gifts and your desires. Open your hearts and your lips and your voices and share in the wonder and the beauty that is God’s love in this community and in this city. If we do this, and even if we do only this, I’ll promise you one more thing: Heaven will break out on earth. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead…”
New Year’s Benediction
we have this day - today - and we have none other.
these hands, these lips, these feet,
this breath, this spirit, this song:
we have none other.
how full of mystery our world becomes,
how full of wonder, awe, majesty, silence, beauty and
wild joy our world becomes
when we are fully present in it.
let this now be the year we find
the endless wonder of a child-like faith,
let this now be the year we find
the staggering awe that comes in god’s presence,
let this now be the year we find
that majesty is the child of humility, wisdom and peace,
let this now be the year we find
that silence is the language of worship,
let this now be the year we find that beauty is within us all,
and everyone we meet,
and let this now be the year we know the wild joy
that cascades, splashes, bursts, pours, charges and foams
like a wilderness of river rapids through
all those channels that
life has cut into our souls.
and in this, more than any other year,
may you be fully present in all that god desires;
and may you know - really know -
that you are the child he loves best.
Ancient Prayer
BLESSED Lord, who hast caused all holy Scriptures to be written for our learning: Grant that we may in such wise hear them, read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest them, that by patience and comfort of thy holy Word, we may embrace and ever hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life, which thou hast given us in our Saviour Jesus Christ. Amen.
This was the prayer read from the Book of Common Prayer on Sunday morning as the second Advent candle was lit. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy hearing these prayers read. They go by in an instant - the page is turned, the words are read, the candle is lit and we move on. Our little ceremony each week seems so ordinary, so unimpressive - and yet it is so rich and full with meaning and value and purpose.
It’s a pearl of great price, a vacant lot with buried treasure.
Hearing and reading the scriptures read seems straightforward enough - these ‘collects’ we read each week are part of an entire calendar of bible reading and prayer the Christian church has practiced for centuries. But that word ‘mark’ is an interesting one, isn’t it? As a verb without an object the word means ‘to take notice, give attention, consider’. And, as a verb without object the recognition that this - the scripture - is something of particular worth, value or meaning falls exactly between ‘read’ and ‘learn’. It is the necessary work of faith in order to grow into a resemblance of Christ and it is nothing more - and nothing less - than simply thinking about what we are hearing and reading, what the bible is saying to us today.
In much of contemporary, evangelical Christianity there is the notion that the bible fell from the sky, fully formed, perfect and without error in any way. I’m not sure the text itself supports this notion. But I do believe there is something unique in the history of the world about this particular collection of ancient documents we call ‘The Bible’. Pay attention, this old prayer of the church tells us. Look. Listen. Be fully present. God is about something in particular here - and it may not be obvious, plain, on the surface. ‘Grant us…’ the prayer begins - let our awareness and presence in this spoken Word be a work of your Spirit awakening us, enlivening us, making us fully present so that - for these few sacred moments - the busy-ness and stress and noise and haste of our lives might be replaced with the placid calm of loving you, the beauty of your Spirit returning us to yourself from all those strange gods we have been chasing after.
‘…and inwardly digest…’ the prayer continues. To be attentive and present in the reading of the word of God is where the power of God is made plain in our life. This is where transformation happens. At some point, as we wrestle, wander, struggle, sojourn, saunter through or carefully and meticulously study the bible we find ourselves engaging the text with something other than moving eyes and pursed lips. Eventually we will find ourselves asking, “what does that mean, why did that happen, what’s going on here’ and, eventually, what does this mean for me? if we have the courage to remain in solitude with the text we discover that the bible has been reading us, that God is indeed speaking to us - singularly, specifically, personally - about what’s happening in our hearts and our lives today. This is, I think, where the ‘inspiration’ of the Holy Spirit is found. As we ‘inwardly digest’ this unique writing we come face to face with the Holy Spirit of God, and we are changed.
These prayers that Andrea has chosen for our Advent ceremony are almost too rich and full to really grasp. We take them for granted, gloss over them, let them slip by. They use words like ‘patience and comfort’, and ‘blessed hope’, and ‘everlasting life’, all of them as full and pregnant as Mary, standing at the inn-keeper’s door. Perhaps the real power and glory, the real wonder and beauty of Advent is the way in which it asks us to slow down, to pause, to consider - to be present with and in - the coming of Jesus to our world. And maybe this is exactly the right prayer. Maybe we can’t just make the world stop, can’t just snap our fingers and make a time of quiet reflection in our lives. Perhaps this too must be a work of God that we are willing to be present in, and willing to accept, even willing to desire.
“Blessed Lord …grant that we may…”
Prayer Meeting
We hold a prayer meeting Wednesday nights at 5:30. It’s like pretty much everything we do - low key and laid back. There’s a precious few of us. We talk, share some of the stuff that’s going on in our lives. We pray for one another, we pray for Third Space.
Yes, I know that for most people this is just one more midweek meeting, just one more thing to pack into the schedule, one more thing that takes us out of the house after work. I understand that.
There’s a significance to prayer in the life of a church - and the life of a Christ-follower - that we may not always grasp. I’m convinced that in the life of a church nothing begins without prayer. Nothing new is created, nothing new comes to life without it. We must give ourselves to prayer, allowing it to call us out of our daily lives to a sacred time and space that we have created for just this purpose. Almost everything in our culture is designed to keep us from such times, to keep us from our sacred place of prayer. This act, then, of a few brothers and sisters who present themselves to God is the subversive work of radical revolutionaries. Nothing stands against the world like prayer. We can no longer be ordinary Christians once we have begun to earnestly pray.
God, it should be noted, isn’t sitting around waiting for us to knock on his door so he can discover what we need. Prayer is, I think, needed much more by us than by God. When we pray we enter into the presence of God and we cannot walk away from such encounters without being changed. Prayer, once we have given ourselves to it, begins to open our hearts and minds to the presence of the divine. We begin to see answers to prayer, we begin to see God’s path open up before us, we begin to see the future created. This seldom entails a deep and mystical experience. Most often we pray, we wait, we trust and we observe God’s response as we go about our daily lives. Not only do we cease to be ordinary Christians once we have given ourselves to prayer but we also cease to live ordinary lives. This is because the long term and cumulative effect of prayer is to shape our will in accordance with His so that, eventually, our prayers are truly in Jesus’ name - and no prayer request made in Christ’s name will go unfulfilled.
Prayer is the work of the church. It requires commitment and effort and often there’s no immediate reward for the church’s labor. In the life of a church, though, everything begins with prayer.